oy vey it's a no news letter
the newsletter from someone who hasn’t been writing much (and what i've been doing instead)
this newsletter has existed for 3 years now, which is quite a trip. with the exception of a few breaks over the years, i’ve been covering food systems news every 2 weeks. a rhythm that at one point was a helpful structure that gave me direction when i had no other anchors in my life and became comfortable and enjoyable.
our shared digital space here is one i care about deeply, and our community has been incredibly supportive, generous, and thoughtful. it has gotten me through a lot a lot in these past few years and has made my wannabe writer dream come true.
and now i’m going to get a little mushy trying to explain where my head is at these days and why i haven’t been in your inbox.
along with all of the good stuff that comes with *this* i also feel a lot of–largely self-imposed–pressure to be current, knowledgeable, observant, and on top of it. but i’ve got to be honest, i absolutely can not keep up. the flood of news meant to distract and keep our attention divided and senses overloaded has been effective on me.
i love my day job but it involves me researching and writing about food systems, culture, and ethics. when it comes time to dive into my own writing projects that largely intersect with the areas of my work, i’ve been drawing a blank. not quite in a writer’s block way, but in a body-mind-and-soul-feel-drained-after-focusing-on all-the-necessities-of-life kind of way.
i haven’t been reading much news and other newsletters every day like i used to. i haven’t even been catching up on the weekends even though i tell myself every week that i will. i’ve scanned headlines, read the occasional story or newsletter, listened to a few podcasts, and have a long list of links i’ve been collecting over the past 2.5 months thinking that one evening i’d finally catch up and share with you “what i’ve read.” but everything seems to quickly become irrelevant or insignificant.
i created this newsletter as a vessel and it’s been empty for months. i’m staring at it and seeing all the memories and opportunities within it but right now, i dont know how to keep it full without draining myself. with the time away, i’ve been thinking about how to honor and maintain it. i want it to be a damn in the flood of overwhelm, somewhere to be for a moment until the current pulls you onto the next thing.
perhaps this will look like more of my longer-form deep dives into a piece of news or important update that seems like it will still be relevant in a few weeks time:
Secret's Out, This is What's Healthy
Most of the time when I mention to someone that I studied nutrition and write about food systems, they follow up by asking if [insert fad diet, product, trend, nutrient] is healthy. My response is always, “What does ‘healthy’ mean to you?” That usually cuts that conversation pretty short. I know they’re looking for a yes or no confirmation that [fad die…
or shorter personal pieces that capture and share a personal moment or experience:
i am also constantly reminding myself that while i take all of this seriously and feel the aforementioned pressure, it isn’t actually that serious. i am not obligated to do any of this, it’s all want no need. while i am incredibly grateful for every single reader i’m also thankful that i’m not beholden to your expectations, external publishing pressure, the algorithm, or other cogs of the content machine.
and despite knowing all of that, here i was, sitting in a cafe staring at a blank google doc, sipping on a soy cappuccino, berating myself for all that i’m not doing. feeling like i’ve betrayed you, my past self, and the consistency and reputation i worked pretty fucking hard to build. i’m frustrated with my anxiety that has me stuck between the chance to either re-engage with my self-created structure and routine or accept my desire that the occasional, sporadic, and good-enough can be my new rhythm.
i’m exploring the latter option. for me, this looks like waiting for the familiar tug of an idea in my mind that grows into an almost compulsory need to get the words out. i’m begging my brain for the uncomfortable flow of inspiration that no amount of pressure, writing prompts, outlines, or “likes” could motivate. i’m longing for that visceral, clawing need to stop everything i’m doing so the pages can pour out of me and then re-entering the world a few hours later feeling both satiated and empty now that this idea is no longer brewing inside me.
nothing quite like reading about a ~writer~ who hasn’t been writing but really wants to, huh? great stuff, very original.
this may have sounded like a goodbye but it’s not, i’m not giving up or intentionally going quiet, i’m just figuring out my own shit and bringing you into this part of it.
alright, enough of what i haven’t been doing. here’s some of what i have been up to outside of work, taking care of the never-ending tasks of life, and darkly romanticizing this no news(letter) era.
i’ve been:
reading things that aren’t news, mainly fiction—up until this week. so far this year i’ve listened to the audiobooks (i count these as reading) Snake Oil, The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, and Good Omens (loved the tv show). i also recently went on a spree of putting in holds at the library that somehow all got filled at once. my arm is still sore from carrying 9 books for the mile walk home from my local branch.
i started A Rich Brew, which is a fascinating topic but dense so far with a lot of names and places to keep track of. i quickly started Canned so i can switch it up depending on my mood and attention span.
in addition to my daily walks with ginny, i’ve started going to the gym for the first time in a very long time and working on strength training as a fuck you to my chronic lower back pain. i’m also doing pilates at home thanks to my friend launching a virtual pilates studio, although, i’m not sure how much longer we’ll be friends if her workouts keep leaving my legs feeling like jello for days and my abs too sore to laugh at the same Bob’s Burgers episode for the 100th time.
i figured if i’ve been in pain without working out, i might as well be in pain and working out for the good chance that over time i gain enough core strength to allow me to better manage said pain. if you want to try out the virtual studio and support one of my very best friends here are a couple freebie classes (no strings attached, you don’t have to put in a credit card or anything. and she isn’t paying me or coercing me into sharing this).i’ve been playing roller coaster tycoon on my phone, which has been a fun throwback to childhood and a fun way to mitigate my doomscrolling tendencies.
i’ve been teaching myself how to cross stitch, which is the only adhd-hyperfixation-inspired-activity of the past few years that seems like it’s becoming a full-fledged hobby. it’s also been a great way to stay off my phone. cross stitch kits or resources welcome!
as always i continue to find solace in the kitchen, i look forward to cooking dinner every night, even if it’s the same few dishes each week or my bakes don’t quite turn out well
if you do want consistent food systems news coverage i suggest Food Fix, their friday newsletters have been a consistent exemption to my no news reading list. you can also check out the other substacks i read on my profile under the “Reads” tab.
what have you been up to lately? what has brought you comfort or joy, however fleeting? what have you been doing to organize or support your community?
a few notes:
all paid subscriptions should still be paused, if you have any issues please email oyveyitskay@gmail.com. also, this post contains a few affiliate links to bookshop, if you buy books using my links i receive a small percentage of your purchase in return. and if you’re wondering why i wrote in all lowercase it’s because this started out as a note in my phone while riding in the car (i have auto-capitalization turned off on my phone) and i didn’t fix it later because tbh i prefer lowercase.
